Category Archives: Anxiety

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Anxiety – it’s a mind-field

Anxiety, it’s a mind-field.

 

Yes I know, it’s a minefield too. But anxiety has your mind working overtime, and it tells us lies. I have a client who on our first sessions worked very hard to convince me that because he lived with himself all the time, he knew better than me what was going on with him, and he accepted everything his mind was telling him as facts, truth and fixed.

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Your top 5 anxiety questions answered

Do you struggle with anxiety and panic attacks?

 

If you do, you are part of the ranks of the clients I see who also have the same issues; and for the record, I can join you too. Since I am autistic, anxiety goes hand in hand with me, but I have some great strategies for coping and dealing with it.

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Beat Valentine’s Day Anxiety

If you are in a not so happy relationship, are single, or in the midst of a break up, Valentines Day anxiety is a very real thing. It’s one thing when you are happy and playing for the smug side, but as someone who is not feeling too at one with the world, this holiday on steroids can be fraught.

Valentines Day doesn’t have to be just about couples. How about treating yourself well? Tomorrow is Singles’ Day but it’s not like you have to hibernate until it’s your time. Follow this advice, and feel good about yourself when you may just need it the most.

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Festival of sleep day – celebrating nap time

Festival of Sleep Day

Did you know that was even a thing? I didn’t. A day, a festival, even, dedicated to my favourite, and my dog’s second favourite activity (her favourite is chasing a ball until she collapses, if you were wondering).

It’s odd that this celebration should fall on the day that we’re all back to work in the UK. Facebook is full of “I don’t want to go back to work tomorrow” posts and here we are, extolling the virtues of sleep. Because, as we all know, the one thing you need to get over a holiday, is a holiday.

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Kick start New Year with these 3 questions

Kick start New Year with these 3 questions.

How was 2016 for you? I’m hoping that you had a pretty good one really, with the usual ups and downs that we all have, but nothing you couldn’t handle. You’re still here, and facing in the right direction, and all is ok. But what if that wasn’t the case? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to kick start new year because the process is actually really simple?

Are you stuck and sad? Are you in a rut and wondering how on earth you’re going to get out of it? Are you still feeling the past is holding you back? If this sounds like you, and you need to change your life, then this blog post is definitely for you. It’s not a great feeling to be heading into the New Year feeling as shitty as you did the day before. So let’s give 2017 a bit of a kick and make some changes TODAY.

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Cat herding day for the anxious

Cat herding day

Today is officially Cat Herding Day. Really, I’m not making it up. Check out daysoftheyear.com and you’ll see. There’s a day for everything, and this one for today really got my attention, because having anxiety is just like herding cats. Anxious thoughts are cat herding thoughts. You round them up, and they scatter.

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Hypnotherapy for Anxiety

Anxiety is a confidence killer

It’s that simple. And yet we try to struggle along, tell ourselves other people are worse off, we should just bloody get on with it, etc etc. Only when we reach that tipping point do we consider getting help, like hypnotherapy for anxiety.

This isn’t helpful. Honestly, it isn’t. Have you noticed that the more you try to get on with it, the more anxiety you feel? This lands us right in the middle of feeling paralysed and helpless, and out of control.

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The anxiety of trying to do it all

The anxiety of trying to do it all is a burden.

 

Because apparently we should; we are under pressure to be everything to everyone, please everybody, be able to do it all.

 

There’s a nice Facebook meme that sums this one up;

 

“You can’t please everyone. You are not pizza/nutella/whatever.”

Credit: Memegenerator

Credit: Memegenerator

 

And yet we ignore the rational part of our mind that says we need to please ourselves first, and instead end up just feeling like a fraud.

 

We go into business to be able to choose our hours (all of them), work with whomever we choose (everyone, it seems, until we’re established…and even then….) and relax more (for an hour when you’re able to lock the door and hide in the bath). If you are already prone to anxiety, as an entrepreneur, you’re definitely in for a bumpy ride. As a female entrepreneur, you’re expected to do it all. And those expectations come from, in no small way, ourselves. Because apart from all of this you have to show you’re an authority in what you do, have enough confidence to make Kanye West look humble, and be an all round awesome human being.

And how does this anxiety show up?

Speaking from my experience as an Aspiepreneur (hahahaha I’ll never say that again, I just wanted to throw that one in for the Goddesspreneurs out there, whom I can never take seriously), executive functioning is one of the bigger problems. It’s the ability to get our shit done. Get started, troubleshoot, plan, see it all through to conclusion. You might be amazing at planning, you might have a plan for every plan, but execution is where it all falls down. And if we don’t get it done, we don’t make any money. It’s that simple.

Executive functioning is tied into our emotional responses; it’s located in the limbic system of our brain, the bit that’s responsible for how we feel, and that throws the occasional tantrum, saying, “NO. I shan’t do what’s required of me, I shall watch Netflix and panic instead.”

 

Fear of failure can propel us into the thing we fear. Remember that. Our brains can’t process negative statements, so if you tell yourself you don’t want to fail, it will hear:

“Oh, you want to fail? Let me sort that out for you. Here is a selection of my best booby traps and general fuck up opportunities, so take your pick.”

 

Anxiety is real for us.

 

And it allows us to feel like a fraud, so Impostor Syndrome kicks in too. “Why would anyone want to work with me, when I can’t practice what I preach” is what it tells us.

 

Anxiety trips up your ability to focus, be productive, get things done. It’s a good friend and partner to self-sabotage, and together they chuck obstacles in your way, so that the dissonance we feel in not getting our shit done is alleviated by, “oh well, I knew I could never do it”. That kind of “I told you so” leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. When you’ve got your checky blanket over your knees when you’re 90, is that the legacy you want to have?

 

No, I thought not.

 

Anxiety can be dealt with by engaging with your brain and getting guidance on how to do it. That’s where I come in. Helping you to work with your inner chimp and telling it to calm down for a while so you can get some work done, be productive, and reap the rewards that you could get, if only the anxiety would go away for a while.

 

If this all sounds too familiar, then speak to me, and let’s get you back on track. Check out how I can help you, and then schedule your free consultation with me. 

No one is born feeling bad about themselves

No one is born feeling bad about themselves

And yet, every day I see clients that have such a downer on themselves, it’s no wonder their confidence is rocked to its core.

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How to stop thinking the worst

How to stop thinking the worst; well, Bob Newhart would advocate that we simply “stop it”. Of course, if it were really that easy, I’d be out of a job, and you’d be staring at a different web page on an entirely different subject.

Have you tried being less anxious? Yeah, right.

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